Somewhere inside it still hurts. it still hurts...

And this hurting it's unbearable. Every time you are somehow rung up in my mind, my heart explodes.

It's unbearable. The empty void you have left, it slowly eats away at me. I don't know what to do anymore.

Everyday since you've gone, my energy, my motivation has vanished from this world without a trace.

The constant stinging of my heart leaves it in a state that it will never scar, but only stay an open wound.

Tell me you love me. Tell me you miss me or tell me I'm stupid.

Just tell me something, anything so that this wound could finally close up and heal.

I leave myself in a state of denial, telling myself you'll only be gone for awhile.

Telling myself that one day you'd come home. And knowing that you never will.

Tell me it's ok, please. Help me close up this wound.

Somewhere inside it still hurts.

Recently had this crazy dream I got married. Actually had the dream twice the same night. But the end result was different. Its weird... this time I saw my bride. I saw her face, her features. The love in her eyes. For the hour within my dream I was thee happiest guy alive, knowing that you were the one by my side. However within this dream you would face the ending of my first un-forgotten dream. And it would happen the same way as well. The second however, led to a different road. You were my wife and yet again I was happy. The thing that struck me the most was that within my dream we had a daughter together. Still an infant. Weird right? And I wanted to tell you she was the most gorgeous girl I've seen in my life, and I was happy to have you both. But it came to the point where I was becoming half awake and half asleep. And as my conscious started kicking in. I forcibly woke myself up. Told myself I will not have this false happiness. And there it went the light of my day.

I wanted to ask. Is it okay to still love you the way I do. Cause honestly I think I still do. It's retarded I know. You know I would have never have asked if you never said anything to me. It's weird just a few words from you and I formed a crazy smile like no other. I was happy.

Teach: What do you want to be when you grow up?

Child: I want to be happy.

Teach: No you don't understand the question.

Child: No teach you don't understand life.